this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
