last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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