wake up i wanna do it froggy style
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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