Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I need to align my fucking chakras
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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