i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
