dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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