Plan B is the new Plan A
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
