Pappa wants mamma naked
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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