Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i came on her dog
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
