I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
