I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Randomize
