It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
