I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
