In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
