weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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