dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
