I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
