she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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