Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
