the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
