I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I checked into jail on foursquare
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
