I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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