Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
