I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
