When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
