I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
