Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
