They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
