by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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