out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
