all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
