dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
