I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
