Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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