i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
