I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
high people should be assigned attendants
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
