What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
