do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
