So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
