I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I checked into jail on foursquare
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
