Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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