So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
