Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
