I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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