Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
