did you get engaged???
i think i have two assholes
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
