Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
