im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
