OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
