and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
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