Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
