he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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